sox the vote

in my in-box from josiah (whose middle name is dennis, in case that's confusing to anyone):

i dont know how you are going to vote this year, but if its as i fear,
maybe this -- from peter gammons -- will change your mind:

so who puts the bug in candidates' ears about seeming what they are not? john kerry last week professed to be a big fan of "manny ortez," then re-emphasized the phoofery by correcting it to "david ortez." no, that was dave (baby) cortez and "the happy organ." a few years back kerry went on a boston station with eddie andelman and said "my favorite red sox player of all time is the walking man, eddie yost," who never played for the red sox. kerry is going to sweep new england. he's going to get 70 percent of the vote in massachusetts. he doesn't have to be a red sox fan, all he has to do is not be john ashcroft.

my reply:

ooo. didn't know that. there goes my support for the guy (i was seriously considering voting for someone else anyway ever since i heard a political cartoonist on public radio describe kerry as looking like an "ent," a sentiment w/ which charles pierce agrees, along w/ several bloggers). howsabout i write in "dennis" instead? then we can tear up the floor in the oval office and generally redecorate the white house w/ a red sox motif. just imagine: inviting jason varitek over to spend the night in the yastrzemski bedroom. hosting heads of state in dom dimaggio hall. renaming the washington monument "the splendid splinter." we can even pour millions of research dollars and the combined efforts of the cdc, usamriid and even the gao into that cryogenics thing. camp david? we dub it "joe cronin-land." oh, the times we'll have.

update: dennis has even more great ideas, and they are as follows --

1% of the federal budget will be diverted to the red sox payroll, in order that they might compete with the yankees for free agents. oh, and george steinbrener (how do you spell his freakin name?) will henceforth the the subject of every fbi investigation involving bestiality, kidnapping, or destroying mailboxes.