red sox nation UNITE!

i was shocked, shocked i say, when my friend dennis (he of the rarely updated blog) reported to me on evening last that, while perusing the fare @ his local market and jonesing for oreos as he is wont to do, he discovered the uncomely visage of none other than alex rodriguez on packages of oreos! dennis, a connoisseur or cookies in general and the oreo in particular, was understandably (a) nonplussed, (b) flabbergasted, then (c) outraged. apparently this campaign is further evidence of an unholy alliance existing since at least 2000, when creative grocery merchandising reported nabisco was teaming w/ sports figures such as derek jeter as part of a campaign including oreo-stacking contests. that same year, bakingbusiness.com reported nabisco had entered "a licensing arrangement for Oreos with Major League Baseball, and for the first time, is featuring baseball stars on Oreo packages — Ken Griffey Jr. of the Cincinnati Reds, and Derek Jeter of the New York Yankees."

today, in solidarity with dennis, i renounce all oreos and oreo-related-activity for an entire year, through and until opening day of the 2005 mlb season, and i call upon all self-respecting members of red sox nation to join us in this honorable undertaking. (disclaimer: in the event that the aforesaid may be understood as constituting an interference with business advantage or other tortious conduct, then i take it all back -- prank blogger! prank blogger!)