[Rough Draft]

A weblog about god, doubt, insomnia, culture, baseball

9.08.2004

blah, blah, blah on my blog, blog blog

this post has no footnotes.

i have done no research.

see this here hip? that's where i'm shootin' from.

this afternoon i had so much to do that i didn't do any of it. went for a run instead. and while i was out there, it struck me that i've been arguing, contending, debating, "standing up for" and "not backing down from" so much for so long that i can't remember what it's like not to do it. i'm beginning to suspect c.s. lewis, were he alive today, would be rushing to press screwtape ii: tales from the blogosphere. the first thing in the morning, i check feedreader. just before bed, check it again b/c i can't have too many unread posts building up. check my email (all 3 accounts), glance @ mailing lists for any loose threads, make sure there aren't any comments on [rd], then retire to bed and a stack of books not for enjoyment or enrichment or to increase my knowledge and love for god -- it's homework. if i want to keep up w/ you guys, i've gotta buckle down!

and i wonder why i'm tense all the time.

of course, the mere fact that you're reading this means that i decided to type all this blather out, so i'm not so fed up that i'm not posting anymore. but i do confess i'm tired of feeling around for fences all the time, which is one of the primary reasons i 'blog about the emerging church, roman catholicism, postmodernism, literary criticism, other assorted words ending in "-ism", process theology (i haven't posted about that, but my friend ollie and i have been skirting the edges of it lately), the presidential election, the environment, blah, blah, blah, blog, blog, blog.

i think i've mentioned before that i write to figure out what i think about things, to find the boundaries. but while i ran (stopping periodically to heave), i had one thought in my mind left over from the 45 seconds i could spare for god this morning: "i run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free" (ps. 119.32). it's almost like god said, "you want a fence, genius? well, there's your cotton-pickin' fence!" or not so much. whatever, it's just disheartening to me that i'm so quick to tilt @ windmills of (imagined?) heresy, but my strength for simply adoring the lord is waning. i don't run anymore b/c i'm too busy creeping around the outfield feeling for the fence a la jose canseco (don't ask me why he came to mind, i just remember that time he got hit on top of the head w/ a deep fly ball, and it bounced over the fence for a home run -- ah, good times). eric liddell is alleged to have said (and don't you hope he did?):
i believe god made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. and when i run i feel his pleasure.
(chariots of fire, warner bros. 1981). there's a season for contending for the faith, and we're in as heated a season right now, it seems, as i can ever remember. but here's hoping i can just let my legs out and run a bit.

even the red sox get an off day.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

 
Google
WWW [rough draft]